A Customizable Script for the Modern Attention-Seeker Who Just Quit Being Vegan

There are few weeks that go by where someone famous-ish doesn’t announce that they are no longer vegan with great fanfare and dramatics: chefs, athletes, wellness gurus, “personalities,” influencers, and so on. Social media and short attention spans have created the perfect storm for someone who has only embraced veganism superficially to walk away from it in a big public way in a bid to grab more attention and followers.

If you’re about to make an Earth-Shattering Announcement that you are no longer vegan, I will save you all the work. You need to save that up for getting more attention. I have seen enough of these to know that it’s basically a script so I have put it in handy checklist form for you. Check one or more answers as apply. Record or copy-paste with your fill-in-the-blank and upload or post. Easy-peasy! And you’re welcome.

Hi, friends —

I have been wanting to
___write this post
___make this video
___speak my truth
for months, but I have been too scared. I’ve lost so much sleep over this. I’ve had panic attacks. I stopped eating. I finally decided that dishonesty is too great a burden, though, and I could not longer live that way. Also, I’ve learned that
___a video exposé
___photos taken without my permission
___private messages
are about to go public so there’s no time like the present. I know that I’m probably going to
___be attacked
___lose subscribers
___lose supporters
for what I’m about to say but I can’t live a lie any longer.

Here goes [if video do one or all of the following]…
___audible gulp
___deep breath
___heavy sigh

I understand that there may be rumors about me, so I thought I’d let you hear it directly from me because I believe in
___authenticity
___transparency
___keeping it real.
For once, the “rumors” are true: I’m no longer vegan. I was vegan for a while and I really loved…