Meat-eaters are the Americans of the World: An Open Letter to the Vegan Snowflakes

Suck it up, buttercups!

Dear bleeding heart vegans of the globe,

I’ve got to break something to you. Please don’t fall apart, sweethearts.

We’re on the top. Got it? If we weren’t on top, we wouldn’t be having this conversation but I am getting tired of feeling like I’m expected to defend our way of life and position at the top of the pyramid. Meat-eaters are the Americans of the world and there is only pride in being #1.

Our way is the way of the conquerors. The winners. The alphas. We have a kind of Manifest Destiny of our own for eating animals; it’s called God giving us dominion over the other species of the world, everything and anything under the sun. It’s in our biology, our anatomy, our brains, our wiring and our most primal urges to dominate; it’s also our natural-born right to have unimpeded, unquestioned access to what we want, when we want it, without being made to feel bad about it, without the “woke” whiners getting up in our business. Conquer or be conquered, cuckolds.

If what we want means that lesser, weaker, less intelligent animals die, well, it’s not my fault they were born to be subservient to me and us. This is what we call nature. If you want to eat grass and hug some trees, no one’s stopping you, unless it’s my grass and that tree is pissing me off; then we’re going to have a problem.

The fact is, everything on and of this planet is ours to take as we wish and leave as we like. I don’t make the rules. If it means trashing the place like kids throwing a kegger when their parents are out of town, so be it. God gave it to us and that means we deserve it unless you are saying that He makes mistakes. You think you know better than God? I am made in God’s image and that means if I want to eat steak so does He. Get it? If I want to eat the last sea turtle on the last island before his kind goes extinct and the island blows away into dust, God has a cloth napkin tucked into his shirt, too. He’s saying, “Chow down, kid!” Who am I to deprive God of His offerings to me? And who are you to try to deny me? If the planet isn’t strong enough to sustain us and our appetites, it’s not my fault. Take it up with God. Unlike you, I don’t think He makes mistakes.

If I was supposed to consider others, I wouldn’t have been born on top, would I? I wouldn’t be so exceptional. You’re telling me I should apologize for being dominant? You’re telling me I should accommodate others? Why?

I’m #1, baby. (Remember?) And what matters to me is all that matters.

Yours truly,

Me

From the author: I wrote this knowing that it was going to piss some people off, including vegans who think I could be less combative. I understand that perspective but it takes all kinds of advocacy, right? Not to sound arrogant, but I do it all: Create recipes, write features, develop free resources that I’ve been told are helpful, and because of that, I am wary of those who gatekeep the “right” way to be a content creator and activist for social change. Sometimes, it’s important to frame an issue in a different way to help open some eyes. In that spirit, having immersed myself in recent years in learning more about this country’s deeply entrenched and dangerous notions of individualism, I couldn’t help but see an opportunity for those who are opposed in general to the tyranny of exceptionalism to see parallels to the myopic narrative we also hold that humans second to none.

Marla Rose is cofounding partner of VeganStreet.com.