Ten Vegan Archetypes of Schitt’s Creek
Once you see the characters as vegans you’ve known, you’ll never be able to un-see them…
This weekend, Schitt’s Creek fans got the great news that Netflix was releasing the last season of the beloved Canadian show a few days early. After cleaning up at the Emmys for their fantastic writing, acting and, well, everything, I thought there was no better time to celebrate this amazing ensemble and show. I haven’t watched the new season yet but can’t help but see archetypal vegans I recognize in some of the Schitt’s Creek characters I love. While none of the characters from the Creek are vegan, it’s not hard to imagine the kind of vegans they be if they were.
The Neurotic Vegan
David Rose is the kind of vegan who accidentally had dairy cheese two years ago and he swears he can still taste it even after he got a bespoke tongue scraper. If you’re a server, David has a lot of questions for you. Like a lot. You might think he’s persnickety but he doesn’t mean to be. He’s just careful because if you think you are going to cook his pristine vegan food on a contaminated surface, you’re wrong — to quote his sister Alexis, “Ew!” — and he knows every potentially problematic micro-ingredient there is. While David can be a bit high-maintenance, he means well, and if you’ve developed an artisanal cashew cheese that has been slow-fermented using the finest cheese-making methods, he will be one of your first cheerleaders.
The Normie Vegan
David’s fiancé Patrick is, seriously, the nicest guy you will ever meet and all he wants to do is normalize veganism. Unlike his other half, Patrick doesn’t want a big fuss to be made over him; he just wants to be. Don’t mistake his reticence for not being proud of being vegan, though. He is a proud vegan. He’d just rather not make a big deal about it. When he eats out with…