Welcome to Fantasy Chicken Island

This vegan is stuck on a hypothetical island with a chicken to determine how hypocritical I am. Let’s play!

Dear omnivores of the world,

Happy New Year! Is it too late after January 1 to say that? I hope not. 2020 was a doozy and 2021 is shaping up to be, um…memorable, but, hey, it’s still a fresh year and in the spirit of new beginnings, there’s a little something I’d like to get some clarity on.

I just have to ask: What is it about you and your obsession with deserted islands with chickens and a single hungry vegan on it? Or sometimes it’s pigs instead of chickens, but either way, it’s weird already.

One of the things you may not realize as a meat-eater is that your people spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get vegans to imagine living on a desert island. Not just because our presence creates a buzzkill at every BBQ but because you just seem to really want to want us to spend time envisioning a hypothetical situation, namely what we would do if we were stranded on a deserted island with a chicken.

Coincidentally enough, as a child of the 1970s, I spent a fair amount of time contemplating what it would be like to be stranded on an island because of a terrible/beloved TV sitcom I watched with rapt…